last week, I had hair cut, thought was a big change,but no one noticed the change,even in photo, not much changing showed. On halloween, I was thinking to go pub at night, in hk, had several streets, people would wear costume, however, I had private tuition until 9:00, was tired, and even went to, no one would join, no friends celebrated halloween.Most ppl didnt look this as important festival. And was very fair to go through the day. But in the morning,I gave and received chocolate candy, among them had a 90% coco chocolate, really bitter, didnt like it, and threw half.
This Sat, went to japanese speaking club, I got huge progress, as could speak a little with japanese. Something like I went to japan,from tokyo to kyoto, friend drove me by car, climbed up hill in kyoto. I was really excited when talking finally. Most of the time during prrvious meeting, I was sitting quietly, just hope the teacher didnt ask me, as I was not sure if I could answer probably or understood the question correctly. Afraid of speaking weirdly. And it was very embarrassed, that some teachers really ignored me, for example, only ask from no.1 student to no.4, skip me if I was no.5. But every time I told myself, nevermind, this was the process, sometimes I was really scared to go again, had to think a long time to go. I know this struggle is not going to be end at least this year. However, if not going, it would be a big loss.
I know it the best, because this is not my first time to join similar meeting .When I was in university, had a speaking meeting with free food every weekend, you could have dinner for free, that was subsidized by university, but every people had to speak mandarin. I was really bad in mandarin that time, and super nervious, so all meeting kept silence, until the end. on the good side was, I had a lot of free dinner. Until I joined an exchange programme to mainland china around 2 months, my mandarin was good after that. So I understand the chance will go away easily and will not come again, as in this society, no free lunch mostly .The speaking club is held by japanese, thats why it is for free. If hk people, they wouldnt help u for free. Even in another speaking meeting, in a group had hk ppl, they saw my japanese was low level, they just ignored me and only talked to ppl with good japnanese,very reality. That's why I promised myself would help others' japanese if i become high level. At first I learn japanese because I think know more languages is a cool thing, now still think so, but this will not be only reason now. I want to have more experience with this language, means communicate with japanese and maybe go to japan and stay for while or has others possibility. I know my vision is very narrow, and if I am stronger, have more skill, could do more and even help some ppl. Also, I would look myself a little different,for example, I could overcome a lot of problem and have such motivation to do what I want.
And actually, I had a lot of lonely time, japanese helped me going through that, changed into a lot of enjoyable time, even I just read grammer book, was very happy with new knowledge. If no such language, I could be just waste the time watching tv, at last, nothing left......