KayYip的中文、普通話、日語、手工橡皮印章的天地

I like to be laid back usually. Because the first 2 years of working period was very busy, that's why I decided to have balance life. It means I need to leave work after working hour. But these few years, seems could not. This year, I am working as editor, it is very very busy during working hour, and after full time work, still have part-time tuitions almost every day. Therefore, my TV watching are cutting. Even dinner should be delaied after 9:00pm. I feel tired and accumulate the tirement, I fell asleep all day in Sat., only Sat is my full time day off. Sun, I have tuition for 3 hrs. 

Though busy, but I am enjoying. I like editing, my company gave me a lot of chance to write texts and editing. However, the rule of the company is a chaos. We have to change texts all the time and it is not change in a good way, we followed stupid boss order to change. I resigned last week, but company wanted me to stay and promised the chaos will be solved. I will keep watching. It is ironic, I want to be stable, but could not accept such chaos.

Tuitions part, I had pressure sometimes. For example, how could I teach some useful methods to students, how could make them improve before exam. I dont like to teach only for exam, but if I want to keep them, I have to serve this part first. One students had the first test after my teaching, luckily, her mark is improved. I feel happy, not for the marks, but it means I could keep teaching her, it is the real helping that I could teach for longer time to make their Chinese more 'solid', long lasting. I feel that now her marks improving is just by luck. If I could not make their marks improve, then I will not have chance to teach them real Chinese and increase their interest.

(ENG version)

在夜燈籠罩的房間裏,只聽見小風扇的滋滋聲,廳都熄了燈,家人相信已在甜夢中。在沉悶的工作中,我倦透了,肩膀硬實的,隱隱作痛,實在受不了,視線漸漸聚焦在旁邊的小窗,在玻璃上看到自己朦朧的倒影,仿佛上不了天堂,下不地獄的冤魂,幽幽的等待鬼差來勾魂。我定了定神,再看看窗外,燈火仍然通明,多少的幽靈在伴着我呢! 想起遙遠的往事,那時年紀小,也像現在一樣,只是換了挑燈「夜讀」,疲倦的當兒,又會開小差,想想在冰冷孤寂的夜裏,怎麼不去軟軟的床上,一覺睡去呢？在這無盡的夜裏,犧牲了精神與健康,有什麼回報呢？念頭一轉,想起家人常說︰「讀書好,將來就沒那麼辛苦。」「沒那麼辛苦」在腦裏不斷迴響,這句話起了嗎啡的作用,遏抑了心靈的寂寞,我暗暗許諾,只要過了這些學習的難關,以後就不用再這麼辛苦,於是我提起書本,捏着大腿,又讀起書來。現在長大了,經驗和智慧也豐富了,才明白那一句,我誤解了,「沒那麼」就是仍然辛苦,但比較不苦罷了。在風雨中,一個大浪過後,接着又會有一個大浪蓋過來吧？領悟了那句話後,我感覺就是給無數個大浪在頭上蓋下來了,渾身都寒透了,我拼命地游,可是卻永遠到不了對岸。

(I used google translation, to translate my Chinese writing,surprisingly, it could translate most of my meaning correctly)

Shrouded in night light in the room , only to hear a small fan sizzle , hall have turned out the light , the family believed to have been in the sweet dream . In the boring work, I tired enough, shoulder real hard , aching , can not stand , sight gradually focused on the small window next to the glass to see my dim reflection , as if couldnt go into heaven,nor hell , waiting for the ghost catcher . I made ​​an effort , and then look out the window , the lights are still brightly lit , the number of ghost accompanied me ! Remembered in the  past , when young, but also like now , only a change took place in the " study " when tired ,I think about the cold lonely night, why not go to soft bed, take a sleep? In this endless night, at the expense of mental and health, is  there anything in return? The idea of ​​a turn , my family often say ︰ "Studying is good, the future will be not so hard ." " Not so hard " continue to echo in the brain , this sentence Morphine played the role of non- curb the loneliness of the soul , I secretly promised , as long as over these learning difficulties, the future will not be so hard, so I took up book, pinching thigh , and began to read the book to . Now grown up, but also enriched the experience and wisdom , now I would understand that one , I misunderstood , " not so " is still hard, but nothing is less bitter . In the rain , after a big wave , then they will be overshadowed by a big wave come ? Comprehend that sentence , I feel is to give numerous big waves on the head cover down , the whole body cold enough, I tried to swim , but never get to the other side.

Recently, a little bit busy, because of more tuitions than before, I am teaching Secondary and Primary students. They have almost the same difficulties, for example, they couldnt write an essay with enough words, proper words, grammetical mistakes,etc. Also, they wouldnt read after school, this is really a big problem. Therefore, they wouldnt know more words apart from textbook. Language is a hard thing, need to put a lot of effort, interest, imagination.

I always prepare excercises and teaching materials, it is easy for me to teach, however, it is quite hard for them to keep attention with low interest. I hope everytime I teach, they could absorb very very quickly, such as next lesson could still remember what they learnt last lesson...My standard is too high, I know, but couldnt help to think like that....If I could not see the effect of teaching, I will be disappointed. I give myself a lot of pressure, would think I have responsibility to upgrade their marks/level,otherwise, would blame myself a lot. I am still learning how to ease these kinds of pressure. 

I guess my piano teacher may have the same thinking, because she wants me to pass my piano exam, she said she couldnt accept failure, which meant my failure will be equal to her failure, but I told her, took it easy. When I am a student, I know, failure will be my responsibility;When I am a teacher, I think it will be mine,it is very contradictory. 

I like teaching, I like that when teaching, I am concentrated, forget everything apart from teaching, time seems meaningful and is easy to pass. I feel my heart beating quickly, it is excited to solve problems. After teaching, I might feel satisfied, or might not be , my mind would keep searching the better ways to teach.

One-one teaching is more direct to have interaction with student, and I could adjust my approach to fit particular students. This is hard to do in classroom with 40students. I hope to keep teaching as part-time work, because I like teaching with no living pressure. If in the future, I have no living pressure, and could teach some poor students, even have no paid, I would like to do that. I hope, students are willing to know more Chinese, have interest in it, not just for exam.

My friend said:' I couldnt push myself to develop a hobby, I dont have interest on anything.'

I said:' I dont have interest first, but find interest in hobby afterward.'

It is like that, I saw someone played piano, it is attractive(the image of pianist), therefore I started to learn. I didnt feel interesting before learning, but after playing and practising, I found the interest in it.

I guess, when you put effort on something more and more, and find interest in it, you will love it eventually. 

It is 12:42am, I feel that I couldn't sleep with no journal here today, just think that I have to write something. I saw Robinson Crusoe(TV drama), the ending was Crusoe still couldnt leave the Island and Crusoe said God did that with purpose, he learnt to be patient and waiting with hope. I raised a question in my head.Do we live in the world with purpose?  Why I dont see my purpose?

Today my piano teacher said, you think too much, but too less practising(about scale). That's true, I hope to analysis and think it deeply, to know some theory, rules in scale, but, after all, practising is the most important thing....My exam is on 19/10, one month left...what should I do!!!I feel  boring to practise scale by myself.

Now, I feel everyday is short. I have a lot of things to do, preparing for Oct piano exam, Dec Japanese test, write Japanese/ English journal, tuitoring, job hunting, etc. It is strange that I am even more busier than I had work.

Usually, I will make a joke to end this, but I am too tired to think....have to sleep!

Back to the nature(Continuous reading)

The title:'Back to the nature' was my friend's signature phrase. He used this phrase when he wanted to throw away rubbish to nature,especially banana,fruit peels. When he threw and said this phrase at the same time, it was very funny. It makes sense, but just make sure that the place is really nature.

However,here I am not eager to talk about rubbish throwing. I like this phrase as I feel myself backing to the nature(Make it clear that I am not rubbish). In the past, I dont really like to go into environment. I went to hiking, travel to national park, mountains, because my friends invited me, we talked, we had photos with beautiful environments, that's all. I dont really feel the connection with nature. After the Japanese camping trip, I am changed.

The environment in Japan is tranquil, fresh, lively. I heard insects' chirps , birds' song ; feel the fresh air and breeze; never ended sea view and mountains. I felt comfortable and peaceful there. After 6 times camping, I am addicted to be in nature. I could not find other things to substitute the feeling that nature brings me. I used to buy things and eat to ease pressure, or for short time satisfaction, and never feel really satisfied, only want to buy more and more. However, nature could give me the better feeling, and it will never be ended. I could be back to nature and nature would serve me infinitely. Also, I didnt feel bored or sick of the nature all day long.

Haha...As you see the title:Sherlock Holmes, he is my favourite novel character. I knew him since I was in secondary school. I read all his stories in chinese. After working, I try to read all his stories in English, but still not finish. Recently, I have found TV drama, the old version, the actor was quite like Holmes in novel, I watched all of the series(total:7 seasons).

Mr. Doyle was a genius, he created Holmes and his logical deduction. Holmes was extremely observative, therefore, he could see others' didnt see. People could learn his way--but should have huge knowledge base and observation.

On the other hand, Holmes was not a perfect human, he was too rational, no love, not man friends, felt boring when he had no case and would take drugs. He could be lively and excited with complicated cases. This is quite human. He was very clever, therefore, he would feel boring, even he was wealthy. He didnt care about how much reward of the case, but care about the 'interesting' of the case. Detective work was his life, energy source, also the enemies. Actually, I wonder he wouldnt really want to lock all the criminals, otherwise, he could be bored to dead. His brother--Mycroft was as smart as Sherlock, but Mycroft didnt choose to be private detective, it showed that Sherlock loved danger and adventures. Sherlock's character was more wild, true to himself. That's why I like Sherlock more than his brother and not just because his smart.

To be honest, I love adventure. This is quite strange character of me. I am a book worm, stay at home oftenly, sometimes writing, crafting rubber stamps,watching movies. Adventure is not match to me. However, I love it. Most of the adventure that were someone being with me, under safe condition.  Maybe they are not real adventures? Do you think camping with friends in another country was an adventure? Went to Ireland with a friend and cycling in mountains for 10 hrs was an adventure? Maybe they were not, because with friends, those were not so dangerous. So maybe a small adventure suit me.

If you dont have any adventure in real life, it will be really boring. When I write to this paragraph, I think, maybe I should set some adventures for myself time to time, yes...why not? What is it? I dont know yet, let me think....